


Why are you doing this to me?

by Aris2410



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, Boys In Love, Eddie Kaspbrak Has a Girlfriend, Emotional Hurt, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Hurt Richie Tozier, M/M, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Has a Crush on Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sick Richie Tozier, Sickfic, Soft Richie Tozier, they are like 16 here, what is wrong with him?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:20:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23069140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aris2410/pseuds/Aris2410
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak has a girlfriend? Richie doesn't take it well.-"Eds, whatcha doing here?"-He asked, and he was sincerely confused.-"I saw Bev trying to walk out with a fucking bottle of vodka."
Relationships: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak & Original Female Character(s), Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Original Female Character(s), Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, The Losers Club & Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Cold Weather

Richie Tozier was lying in his bed. It was early morning on Sunday, so he didn't have anything to do. He could just let himself drown in the incredibility of laziness. The sun was beaming through the curtains, and if only Richie decided to lean a little bit more to the left, he would feel the warmth on his face.  
-"Fuck you, Richard"-Richie murmured into the pillow.  
-"Fuck you, and your stupid life, you ass"-He was talking to himself. Before he decided to leave his warm bed, he listened carefully if his parents were home and of course they weren't. Why would they? So he grabbed his glasses and put them chaotically on his nose. When he looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall above his desk, it said 11 a.m. What gave him another three hours of nothingness before he was meeting with the rest of the losers. He did not want that day to come. Like ever. He even considered staying at home. But it would just postpone this situation. He would have to meet Eddie's girlfriend eventually, right? And if now wasn't a right time then it would never come. When Eddie came to the clubhouse a month ago and said that he has a girlfriend, Richie was sure that he was joking. Then when Eddie started skipping lunch with the losers, he just explained it to himself. That Eddie was busy, that he had to study, maybe someone started talking to him, and he was just running late. But after today, there will be no more denial. He will see her. She will become a real and authentic fucking person. And that was what hurt Richie the most. He did have a fucking crush on his best friend since he was 13 or something. What did he expect? Jesus, he shouldn't even call it a crush. He was a boy, and Eddie was also a boy after all. Boys couldn't like other boys, and that was it. And Richie was just polluted, and he deserved to hurt. He knew it was coming. He knew Eddie would get a girlfriend one day, then get married, have fucking children. But even though he had it in the back of his mind for all this time, it still shocked him, and his heart still stings. 

So when the time finally came, and he was walking to the clubhouse, as it was too much snow to ride, his head was hurting so much, and his heart was pounding like it was about to fell out of his chest.  
He was kicking all the snow that stood on his way, with all the anger he had for his fucked up life and the misery he was currently in.  
"Finally, look who decided to show up"-He heard Stan saying when he emerged the inside of their meeting place. He didn't bother even looking up from the floor.   
-"Yeah, yeah, I was busy with Eddie's mo.."-he became silent when he saw it. Eddie was sitting on a hammock, but there was no space for Richie. So that was the girl he lost his battle to? She looked pretty average. She had blonde hair which was held by a scrunchy and made a funny looking bun on top of her head. She was wearing a fucking jeans-looking dress and sporty shoes, and she was wearing huge glasses. They looked very similar to Richie's.  
Something inside Richie started hurting. He suddenly felt hot all over and lost his ability to speak for a second.  
-"Oh, so you are the unlucky girl, huh? I mean everyone likes pasta, but you could have chosen better than our lil' ol' Eddie Spaghetti."-He smiled at her and was quickly welcomed with the furious look on Eddie's mouth.   
-"Shut the fuck up, Trashmouth. I'm sorry that you head to listen to him, Jen. He is just an asshole. I don't know why we still tolerate him."-He gave other losers a questioning look, and they all just giggled a little.  
So her name is Jen? That was all Richie could think about right now as Bill started speaking again.   
-"So as I w-w-was saying before s-s-s-someone interrupted me"-with that he looked at Richie.  
-"Welcome to t-the Losers Club."-And after that everyone started asking Eddie and Jen questions. So many questions. Like what the fuck? Richie was just sitting quietly, but the more he listened, the more he felt sick of this whole place, this whole day. They met in a fucking church, and of course, Eddie's mom adores Jen. If there is justice in this world, then Richie really had to fuck up in his previous life to get such a punishment.  
"I didn't really catch your name?"-someone was suddenly leaning in front of him. And the someone was, of course, a new blonde girl.  
-"Huh?"-Richie really didn't feel like talking, not to mention talking to HER.  
-"Your name. They just called you Trashmouth, but I'm sure that's not your real name."-She was smiling shyly, and if Richie were normal and liked girl, he would have thought she looked cute. That's why he hated her more.  
-"It's Richie."-He said in a cold tone and didn't even bother to look her in the eyes.   
-"Hey Rich, what's got into you today? "-Beverly came to sit closer to him and asked. That's when the other losers turned their attention to him as well.   
-"Yeah Richie, you're so q-q-quiet."-And under the normal circumstances, he would appreciate that his friend cared, but today it just annoyed him.  
-"I just hate the snow guys, and I have a killer headache."-Everyone was just looking at him, and Jen was looking at Eddie with a confused look on her face.  
-"What?"-he barked at them. He didn't mean to, but Jen decided that now was the best time to hold Eddie's hand and he was so consumed by her he didn't care how Richie felt. Usually, he would be the first one to ask Richie if he wanted a fucking painkiller or shit and now? Nothing, big, fat ass nothing.  
-"No mom joke, Tozier? Are you dying?"-Stan joked. But it didn't seem like a joke to Richie. He was, indeed, dying.   
-"Bev? Do you have cigarettes?"-he asked instead of starting an argument with Stanley.  
-"Yeah, Rich. Jen, wanna join us?"-And of course, she had to ask Jen if she wanted a cigarette. But fortunately, she said that she doesn't smoke and Eddie looked too fucking happy for Richie's liking, so the tall boy just stormed out of the clubhouse. And even though he hated snow, he still waited outside for Bev to come.   
When she finally came, she gave him a cigarette without saying anything. They stayed like that for a while.  
-"You can't act like that, or you'll lose him."-She finally said when she put out her smoke.   
-"Fuck Bev, I know, it's just so much. I..., fuck, do we have any alcohol down there?"-And then she hugged him. And he felt his eyes started to water, but he managed to stop the tears from falling.  
-"Yeah, I'll bring you some here."-She stated and went back inside.  
Richie felt cold all over. He did not put his jacket on, and it was fucking freezing outside. And it was all Eddie's fault. Because he didn't mind reminding Richie to take it. Because he was too occupied by stupid, pretty and fucking cute Jen.  
-"Oh, my God. That's what I thought. You are clearly out of your mind you dumbass. Jeesus. Where did you lose your fucking brain?"-He heard a familiar voice behind him, and it was his Eddie.   
-"Eds, whatcha doing here?"-He asked, and he was sincerely confused.  
-"I saw Bev trying to walk out with a fucking bottle of vodka. And then I remembered that you went outside to smoke. Which is fucking bad for your lungs. So I stopped her and came here because someone has to think here and it's obviously not you Trashmouth. And where the fuck is your jacket? You know you always, Rich, fucking always get sick when it gets cold. And even though you know it you still fucking went outside dressed like this, and I had to come here to take you back inside."-Eddie was in one of his superfast talking moments. And Richie was just staring at him with all the love he held in his stupid queer heart.   
-"Are you even fucking listening? "-Eddie snapped at him, and Richie just smiled.   
-"Yeah Edduardo, let's bring my freezing ass inside, my prince charming came to my rescue."-He started joking, and even though Eddie punched him in the arm, he could see that the smaller boy was trying really hard to hide a smile.  
-"Not my name Trashmouth."- And with those words, they went back inside.


	2. Weed's a medicine for brokenhearted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it took ages to upload. But I'm trying and I fell in love with Reddie again.

Back in the clubhouse, all the feeling that appeared outside quickly disappeared. Eddie did not sit next to him, nor even near him. He sat on a hammock with a fucking Jen, and Richie's head was throbbing, so he managed to convince everyone that he is not feeling well and that he will just leave earlier. When he finally got home, he felt so tired and so heavy. He could hear his mother watching TV in the living room, but he passed her without even sparing her a glance. Maybe because he was tired and maybe because he was too afraid that he'll see her with a glass of wine again. He decided that it was a great idea to ditch all his homework that was hidden somewhere in his room and just take a hot shower. So he took off his clothes and left them on the pile that was already rallying on his chair. He made a mental note to take care of it in case Eddie... Well, it didn't matter anymore. While he came to this conclusion under the stream of hot water, he felt his chest tightening. It finally hit him, Eddie had a girlfriend. There will be no more Eddie and Richie. There will be no their hammock, no more lunches under benches, just the two of them. Even if they manage to be alone, she will always be there too. Somewhere in the longing in Eddie's eyes, in every beat of his heart. She will be present and...and with this thought, Richie realised he has been crying.  
Suddenly he felt powerless, weak. He felt sick. Sick faggot. A fucking fairy. Pussy. Bowers was right after all. He sat down on the floor of the shower. He couldn't see anything without his glasses and with tears aglomerating in his eyes. He tried to make no sound, but some sobs escaped him. He kept on telling himself.  
"Eddie is fucking happy." " She is nice, Richie." " Even if it weren't for her, he wouldn't be with you because he is not a faggot. You are."

When he wakes up the next morning, he doesn't really remember getting to bed but the headache that was present the other day developed into a full fucking blown cold. As if Richie wasn't suffering enough. The whole universe was just against him. He was tired and even considered staying home, but when he walked down the stair and to the kitchen, he saw his mom eating breakfast in silence. His dad was sitting there too, reading a paper.  
-"Why aren't you ready, Richie?"-His father asked, still reading the article. Richie wanted to say: because I feel like shit, because I'm sick, because I'm a faggot and Eddie has a girlfriend, and she is kinda pretty and even nice and fucking funny, and he seems to be happy with her.  
-"Good morning, dad, nice to see you too"-it's all he manages to say in the end. And his dad makes a disappointed noise and just waves a hand to him as in a gesture of saying "you're not worth my time."  
-"Do you want me to make you some breakfast, honey?-his mother asked. She looked as bad as ever. Dark circles under her eyes, grey skin and her hair was a mess. Richie smiled and shook his head because his stomach didn't seem to want to digest anything at all. He quickly regretted this gesture as his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.  
-"I can drive you to school if you want. I have a day off."-his father said, still reading. At that moment, Richie was more than sure he is not staying home that day. He declined and went upstairs to change into something more presentable than his pyjamas. His ride to the school was somehow exhausting. He could feel every roughness of the road, and he couldn't bring himself to ride as fast as usually. He got to school late, which ended up being a good thing because he didn't have any classes with Eddie before lunch and not seeing him now meant not seeing him for the half of the day.  
Just before the lunch break, Richie had an English class with Bev. The moment she saw him, her smile disappeared.  
-"You were late today."-She sounded concerned, and Richie didn't like it at all. He just shrugged and started walking towards his sit, knowing that she would follow. Once they were settled, he looked at her and smiled in order to reassure her.  
-"Don't do this, Rich. You can fool others, but not me."- Bev always knew him somehow better. It wasn't the same connection as with Eddie. But she could see through his mask. When others would laugh at his jokes, she could see what they really meant. And today was the same. She looked at him with her big eyes, and they were puncturing his soul. His soul which was longing for Eddie's attention, Eddie's touch, Eddie's affection, for Eddie.  
-"I overslept. Nothing to worry my beautiful Beverly. But I have to admit it's touching how you care about an ol' lil' me"-He tried to make a British impression. But god his head hurt and his sinuses were too stuffed to let this voice sound authentic. She looked at him as if she were mad but quickly shook the look off of her face. She brushed away some hair from her face ( it was kind of long now, and she liked wearing it loose).  
-"He was upset that he didn't get to talk to you this morning"-She said and turned to some girl sitting behind her. The lesson started and Richie was dozing off. He and Eddie, together under the bridge. Eddie saw it. Saw what Richie curved in a wood those years ago. He smiles at him, and all Richie wants to do is kiss him, his cheeks his nose covered in freckles, his lips, the ones that won't stop insulting Richie, the ones that pipe about all kinds of diseases. Kiss, hold, hug, love. And then Eddie looks at him with this enormous disgust.  
-"You're sick, Richie"- Eddie is pulling back. He doesn't want Richie's touch.  
-"God! You're a faggot. You are dirty. I can't stand you. I can't look at you. Perish. Go and die. You're like a rat Richie. You should live in fucking sewage."-he runs away to all the losers but amongst them all, there is one more person. Jen. She took his place. They all abandon him.  
He wakes up to Bev poking his arm. He drilled during his sleep. He feels like shit.  
-"Hey, Sleeping Beauty, are you coming for lunch or are you going to avoid him at a price of starving?"-she asks him, and there is a small smile playing on her face. Usually Richie would come up with some riposte, but he is way too tired.  
-"I'm coming, Bev."-His voice is hoarse, and his throat hurts a little.  
As they walked into the canteen, everyone from their table was already there.  
-"Trashmouth's here"-Stan announced. Beverly slipped into the seat next to Ben. And Richie was left alone because of fucking course, Jen was sitting next to Eddie. His Eddie. It took him a solid moment to put his shit together, but he sat down next to Big Bill.  
-"Why you don't have any lunch with you? A-fucking-gain Rich"-Stan said as they all were earing except for Richie. And to be honest, he had no idea why. He was just way too heavy to put any more into himself even if it meant not enough nutrients as Eddie once explained to him. Without Eddie, he couldn't quite find enough power to go through the day. He didn't even think about preparing meals and eating them to add more weight to his already sticky thin legs.  
-"Eddie's mom was too tired after the whole night to make me lunch today."-He got the attention of all the Losers except Eddie because he was busy explaining some stupid homework to Jen.  
-"Beep beep!!"-sounded a chorus of voices.  
-"Just take my fries you asshole, and shut the fuck up"-Richie looked up from the table to see Eddie's eyes puncturing him. His heart raced a little bit faster than it should have. He wanted to tell Eddie to give him more attention, and that he is lonely and if Eddie will leave her he'll shut up. Forever, just to get him back. But of his mind and mouth never really played in the same team.  
-"Ooooh, cute cute cute. Since when you're playing all Donna Reed with me, Eds?"-he blurted out.  
-"Okay, firstly Eddie's right Richie, shut up. And secondly to stop you, children, from arguing I have an announcement."-Bev interrupted, and God thank her she did.  
-"My aunt is going out for a few day, and she leaves her house in the forest all alone. So she asked me to stay there and keep an eye on everything. Are you catching up?"-She finished with a knowing smirk on her face.  
-"I'm talking sleepover with a lot of booze in the forest."  
-"I'm all in baby."-Richie answered first with a huge grin.  
-"The weed will be delivered?"-He added after a second.  
-"That will be my pleasure"-the red-head answered, she was also grinning at the perspective.  
-"I'll come too"-Ben added quickly. After a moment everyone agreed that a trip to the forest to get drunk and stoned is a great idea.  
-"And of course Jen should c-c-come too."-Bill stuttered. And it sure sounded like a fantastic plan to Richie. Bev shot him a pitiful look, but he just shook his head. He will get stoned, and he'll survive, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Love those two!!!!


End file.
